Breakups are terrible. You want to stay in bed forever, spend all your money on tissues and spend more time on your ex-partner’s Instagram account than on your own. Everyone who has ever had lovesickness knows this. Your world is collapsing.

Long story short: I wanted to travel the world with my boyfriend after completing my studies. Then he ended the relationship. That’s it. I went alone.

When I used one tissue pack after the other, rolled up in my cocoon of duvets, I never expected to go on this trip in the next month and that this would be the best decision.

I met great, strong women everywhere, with whom I spent hours philosophizing about heartache over a few glasses of wine. We have always come to the conclusion that traveling alone is the best recipe against lovesickness.

Your emotions are a mess, complicated and they control you all day. Do you know what I did on my first night of being single? I told one of my best friends Julia in an objective way what happened. I didn’t really cry anymore. Because I just didn’t want to understand it. It was so surreal. And then it started. For weeks, every evening after work on the way home on the bus: heartache song on a loop and crying bitterly. This is really exhausting when the night bus drives home for almost 50 minutes.

Your heart breaks a little more every day by day. The person you have completely trusted suddenly disappeared and nobody can fill this emptiness. Sorrow and anger mix all day long. Above all, you doubt yourself. What have I done wrong? Could I have prevented the separation? Your insecurity grows with every thought from deep heartache.
But at some point the time has come when you must and will manage to break out of this feeling.

Traveling will help you think clearly and stick your heart together. A breakup may even be the optimal time to finally do the long-awaited trip to America. Let’s go!

You get a small seat by the window, snuggle up in your thick scarf and watch a movie. If you want a glass of sparkling wine, just call the stewardess. If you’re lucky, the far too good-looking lady in the Jetstar outfit will simply fill up your paper cup without a word while you are crying as you watch the last kissing scene of Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler. #Cheers #ThanksJetstar

The time on the plane is perfect to reflect on your thoughts. You have no mobile phone reception. So you can neither write a WhatsApp message to your ex-partner or receive one from him, nor stalk his social media account. Your phone is simply silent for several hours. And that’s good.

If you feel like crying on the plane for five hours: Go for it! Believe me, that is a hundred times better than if you burst into tears at the temple in Bangkok.

It is actually proven that your own laughter affects our mood. Even if you are in a really crappy mood —  You have to force a smile for good photos. Maybe you are standing in front of the most damn amazing landscape you have ever seen! And then this small grin just feels really good and at the same time there are some nice pictures to remember. Easy

As soon as you leave your comfort zone at home and also your familiar surroundings, you have the time to reflect on your last relationship in peace. There is no influence from your best friend or well-intentioned advice from your parents. You just think about everything on your own. You don’t have to move your thinking to an extreme place like I did: Silent Monastery. Thinking and pondering for 10 days, although I shouldn’t actually think. Maybe in the beginning it was a little too much ten days in silence to think about yourself, your future, your past and above all the failed relationship. But in the end it was okay. I took the time to reflect on everything in peace. #newmindset

You will meet people every day while traveling. Maybe just fleetingly, maybe a little longer. People with similar interests or those who give you completely new inspiration and motivation. In any case, you will meet people who are great. You will notice that even if you are actually alone, you will never be lonely.

Suddenly you open yourself up to other people. You meet women who have also been broken. Very strong women. You drink a wine together, blaspheme about men, cry and laugh together, motivate yourself and in the end you are happy to have made the decision not to sit alone in front of the television at home, not to eat 1 kg of Ben & Jerrys and not to feel sorry for yourself.

No matter if you only drive a few hours to the ocean or fly eighteen hours to spend the next time on another continent. You are finally in a new environment. First of all, nobody knows you here and you don’t have to tell your story if you don’t want to. If you are sitting on the beach in Spain and you want to kiss the cute guy next to you because it is just a nice evening — do it. Nobody will whisper behind you, that you are just separated and now you are fishing for someone new. No. Maybe the people don’t care about, because nobody knows you anyway. Maybe someone smiles at you, because he is happy that you are having a romantic evening. Who cares ?!

Once you’re on the trip, you won’t be checking your phone all the time. Maybe you will find yourself among tourists at the nearest sightseeing point. Or you play UNO on the beach with people from your Hostel and breathe in the fresh air by the sea. Most importantly: You create new memories. As soon as you are no longer with the same people in your familiar environment, it becomes much easier not to think about the moments with your ex-partner all the time and not burst into tears suddenly.

At some point the moment will come when it finally click in your head. You also can be happy alone. Because only you are responsible for your own happiness. Whether you are happy or not does not depend on your partner.

“He broke up with me. I can never love someone else again and will never be happy again.” Wrong!

Start loving yourself. I really had trouble with this after the breakup. But with every new month, in a new country, with new experiences, I realized how beautiful life can be. Even alone. I became more grateful every day for the chance to see such wonderful places. Of course it is also nice to share such moments with someone. But you don’t need anyone to be complete. Your self-respect should come first — and this has nothing to do with being arrogant! If you have managed to be happy and love yourself, you can show a lot more love to your fellow human beings. Honest love.

With every great experience you realize that your confidence increases. And with every shitty experience, your own satisfaction grows when you’ve learned from that experience. This is exactly what you will do: Learning from your mistakes. While you are traveling alone, you will realize this much more. Because after doing something wrong, you become stronger and get a new chance. Trust the universe to give you what you need at just the right time.
If that was the separation from your partner, it is very painful, but then there will be another chance. Another reason to develop yourself further. Maybe it’s the chance to travel alone that you would never have realized otherwise. Everything happens for a reason.

You have just reached a point where something changes for you in life. This by itself is an adventure. Then you are still on your own, organize every trip and discover super fascinating places. At first you are incredibly proud of yourself and feel invincible. These positive thoughts and feelings are one big thing. But most of all you notice that a failed relationship is not the end and that your own honeymoon is actually really cool. Don’t just pull yourself together and keep your head up. Realize which great moments you can experience alone and enjoy.

In a few years, you may actually be thinking of your ex, or not. But you will never forget your trip where you saw for the first time a wild cockatoo in the city center (Yes! A highlight for me in Melbourne). You will never forget the evening when you danced on the beach in Bali until 5 am and drank Mojito. You will never forget the moment you stepped out of the Hawaii airport and just cried because you are happy.

#kitschoverandout